As the summer break was coming to a close, I received two nervous messages from alumnae who were set to begin their sophomore year at two very different schools. One of the messages read, “I don’t want sophomore year to come yet” followed by an angst emoji. The other texted that she was excited, but a little scared, as she would be in a larger class this school year.

For both, the common denominator was an uncertainty about what to expect in their second year of high school and how they would go about deepening their connections at their respective schools. One was now attending a large suburban high school which offered a host of clubs, organizations, sports, amongst other things. In other words, there was a lot to navigate with over 2,000 students in the population. The other was attending a smaller, more boutique public school where everyone literally knows everyone else on a first-name basis, but the intimacy of the setting could, at times, feel like being in a fishbowl. Nonetheless, they are both great students who enjoy school.

After getting permission from their parents, our agreed-upon solution was to schedule a lunch outing to reconnect and discuss their hopes and dreams. Although the girls had kept in touch with each other via text and Snapchat, the giddy excitement of being together again in person was both palpable and audible. There was a brief chat with their parents and then we were left alone to catch up with one another. Over salads and pizza, each shared details about their freshman experience. We processed their escapades – both the wins and failures from which they learned. I asked each to sum up what they liked about high school and their newly gained friendships. They also reflected on how their experience at TBS had prepared them each individually for the drastically different environments in which they were now immersed.

         Joyful alumnae meeting for brunch

In processing the year ahead, I asked some initial questions, such as “What’s your biggest fear about this upcoming year?”, “What would a successful year look like for you at your school?”, “Do you think you’ll try to join any new groups or organizations?”, and “Which ones interest you and why?”. They spoke with excitement about their schools and the activities to which they were looking forward. Eventually, they forgot I was there and began to talk to each other about the school plays for which they planned to audition, sports team try-outs, and AP or advanced courses in which they were planning to immerse themselves.

For the most part, the angst slipped away. They now understood that they were actually excited about the upcoming year and really it was just a fear of the unknown that was the trigger. They had all of the tools and skills in hand to create a successful sophomore experience for themselves – as demonstrated first and foremost by the action of advocating to reconnect and get the support they felt they needed to process the year ahead. In doing so, they also recommitted to coming back to The Berkeley School to let the middle schoolers know about their experiences as well as parents. The Berkeley School’s motto of Seen and Supported carries on beyond the classroom.

As we settle into the new school year, I am looking forward to my continued connections with students both new and returning. That involves familiarizing myself with faces and names while learning simple anecdotes about each student. It is an ambitious goal, and I will admit that it’s not easy to pack it all in with just under 300 students on two campuses. The process of building and maintaining relationships is lengthy – from greeting the little ones and their families at the front gate at our preschool campus, doing Thursday lunch duty with the wiggly kindergarten students, hosting weekly etiquette lunches with 1st through 5th graders in my office, or leading the Green Gator team for the Middle School Olympics – but the connections built are priceless! And it is my hope that in doing this work, I am helping to create positive moments that matter long-term in a student’s life. So what’s next you might ask? The ladies have already begun planning a larger lunch outing for November to bring together their “after-school crew”.

One of the connections this particular class of students always made was around pop culture conversations. In full disclosure, we also did a little shopping for lipgloss.